Friday, August 31, 2012
Running, Written, Raped
It is officially the last day of summer. Labor day is here and that means schools will be back in session, night will come early, even the bus routes will change. I haven't written much but a lot has happened. The problem is everything that's happened has been in my head. I'll do my best to retell it all now.
Friday, August 17, 2012
L'anniversaire
What I Wrote:
Happy Birthday
It's been two years. Two years is a long time. In that time I have met a new group of friends, switched stores, traveled the East Coast, slept nights outside on a park bench, tried to kill myself, had writings published, been to Europe, had relatives die, been attacked, promoted. Yet nothing has changed. I am who I am. By now you have graduated. By now you have said you love he . By now you don't remember me. I've kept to my word. I haven't loved anyone. I think of you every day. I wait for you.
So yes, today is your birthday. It is also the anniversary of the last time we talked. The anniversary of my attempt. The anniversary of the end of my life.
I hope it is a good day for you. I hope you are happy. I hope you feel loved. I hope you remember me.
Happy Birthday. And everything I can't say.
What I Sent:
Two years later. I hope you are well. I hope your birthday is good. I hope you are happy.
Happy Birthday.
Lara-Ashley
The dream last night
Last night in my dream I saw Evan. I was with Evan. I knew it was a dream. The he was only there It was a dream. Yet I still believed it was him. Like I could summon him. Make him really. E there be sued it didn't count. Because it was a dream.
In the dream I made us do everything. Made him hold me. Hug me. Go places with me. Spend every second with me. Say everything. Because even in the dream I knew I'd wake up so I had to hold on to the dream. I remember thinking that exact thought in the dram while he was holding me. I remember him saying we could go do something I had wanted to do but I remote bet thinking: no this dream will end soon and I can't give up a single moment of him holding me.
Last night in my dream I saw Evan. I was with Evan. I knew it was a dream. The he was only there It was a dream. Yet I still believed it was him. Like I could summon him. Make him really. E there be sued it didn't count. Because it was a dream.
In the dream I made us do everything. Made him hold me. Hug me. Go places with me. Spend every second with me. Say everything. Because even in the dream I knew I'd wake up so I had to hold on to the dream. I remember thinking that exact thought in the dram while he was holding me. I remember him saying we could go do something I had wanted to do but I remote bet thinking: no this dream will end soon and I can't give up a single moment of him holding me.
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